Home sweet home

Dear Marly,

I miss you. And let's admit it: I'm a bit jealous too. You're in Japan, seeing exciting new things and meeting awesome new people, and I'm... still here. Same old town, same old school and friends. And I know that life won't change that much until next year, when I'll go to Utrecht (hopefully). And even though I know there are lots of things to look forward to, this year doesn't seem half as exciting as other years. I guess I'm just done with high school.

I want to be a singer and tour the world.
I want to be an explorer and see the wonders of this planet.
I want to be a poet and live in a tree house.
I want to be Martha Jones and walk the earth. 

Sometimes, social interaction scares and tires me. I love my friends but sometimes I feel so awkward and unhappy. With you, conversation never feels forced or uncomfortable. And that's something I miss. Thank god there's skype! But really, sometimes it seems like the whole world is turning against me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Love, Suze

Differences

Dear Suze,

Until recently, I thought I had seen something of the world. I have been to a lot of different countries: Sweden, Germany, England, Italy, Czech Republic etc. Granted, most of them were European, the only exception being Russia and the U.S.A.. But still, I thought I knew about different cultures. Boy, was I mistaken (Yeah, I like to use 'boy').

            I am in Japan now (people who now Japan now probably understand where the above came from), but 3 weeks? 4 weeks? ago, I was in Turkey. Both blew my mind, though Japan maybe a little bit more so. I'll begin with Turkey, though.

            What can I say about that? Istanbul was beautiful and busy. People were always on the streets, moving or talking, all so busy and at the same time relaxed, at ease. The old and the new co-existed, and this was true for streets and buildings as well as for people. I never once felt scared or uncomfortable. It was an extremely nice place. But it was different (from the Netherlands I mean and from everything I know :P). And different in a way that none of the places I have ever been to were. Maybe it was the buildingstyle, maybe the people, maybe the shops, or maybe the colors or life itself or all those things at once... Apparently, those things are more similar in the Western Countries then I thought.

            Then I went to Japan. Japan! How do I even begin to describe it? I can't. I simply can't (and yes, I'm probably a bad blogger to say so). All that I can say is that it is different from everything and different from the difference of Turkey (to make things complicated). And that 10 minutes walking in a Japanese street, or department store, is enough to make me tired, so tired. The thing about Japan, I guess, is that it looks similar in some sense (the buildings, the stores, the articles) and completely different in another. One example, though maybe not the best one, is the pillow. On first sight, it looks just like a pillow. Then you feel it... and notice it's filled with pits. So you think you know something, but it's not what you think it is. At first, I constantly had the feeling that something was just 'off'. It is really confusing and apparently takes a huge amount of brainpower (hence the exhaustion). And yes, there were some brief moments (I have only been here 1 week now, and it has not happened a lot) that I was scared or felt uncomfortable.

            But why did I talk about differences if I can't describe them? And why does it look like I don't like Japan all that much, while actually I do? The answer to those questions are interrelated. So far I love Japan and part of the reason is probably because I love to be surprised. I love the fact that not everything I see makes sense to me, is so familiar that I barely bother to see it. Because that's just it, right? Differences (if they are big enough) open our eyes to things, eyes that are too often closed by what we think we know. We need our eyes open though, to really experience the world. That's what Turkey and Japan taught me.

Love,

Marly

P.S. How's it going in the Netherlands? How's your music-project? I guess you learn(ed) a lot from that as well. 

Limitless

Hi Marly!

It's been a long time since any of us has written a post, so I thought I should give it a try again. I wanted to talk about something that's kept us both busy for quite some time (and to which you introduced me actually), namely: web series. There are so many cool ones out there, each one with its own aims and aspirations. Because they exist through sponsoring (for a great part at least), they have a much greater creational freedom than series on TV, and can reach a big audience. I decided to make a list with my favorites, in no particular order:

1. Squaresville



It's quirky, it's experimental, yet it tells the story of two average teenage girls. It follows Zelda and Esther as they try to escape their suburbian town ('Squaresville'), mainly through lots of daydreaming. I love it so much because the characters are so real, so imperfect and recognisable.

2. Space Janitors



This is so awesome, so goofy, so AWESOME! I'm not a science fiction fan (although I make a HUGE exception for Doctor Who), but this just plays with all the genre cliche's and is totally hilarious. Also, the special effects (low budget!) are amazing.

3. The autobiography of Jane Eyre


Okay, it all started out with the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which was pretty awesome too. But I think I like this little gem even better. Jane (played by the amazing Alysson Hall) is very lovable and most of all, very convincing. It's less polished and a bit more experimental than LBD, and sometimes downright scary. Very, very nice.

I hope more people discover these great series, because they really deserve it!

Love, Suze

The succes of FAILURE

Yes, I failed. I started off so optimistic this month, ready to write 50.000 words. And what's more, I wanted to write a new story every day. It would be amazing! I would explore new themes, new ways of writing and I would discover new sides of myself as a writer.

What happened? What happened to that optimism, that determination, that drive? How could I just lose that?

Looking back on July (and the month isn't finished yet, which means I have a voice shouting 'write, write, while you still can!!!' in my head) I think I can safely say that I didn't lose that drive, or the determination. The problem was not a lack of energy, or a writers block, or a lack of ideas, it was the opposite. I once heard that when you are stuck with your writing, it is because you have too much ideas, and you don't know which one is best. That is the same problem I encountered this month.

Let's see what I did do:
1. Made plans for a book, or a series of books (detailed plans, not just thought about it)
2. Started with a radio play.
3. Recorded a song with my lovely sister, then
4. Made a video for that song and uploaded it.
5. Worked on and recorded another cover.
6. Did write 10 short stories, and started even more.

Actually I am pretty proud of myself, even when I didn't succeed with Nanowrimo. Moreover, I have booked tickets to Japan and send all the required documents, so I have done some important, obligatory stuff too. This shows that you always should look at why you failed and what you wanted to achieve in the first place. For me, it wasn't just about the words, it was about developing myself on the creative level. And in that respect, I haven't failed. Yes, I think I'll look upon this failure as a succes.

We're going backwards

What is this? 

A song by Murderous Mango aka US!!! WOOHOO!!!

It's a cover of this song by Matthias, a contestant (and finalist) of Internet Icon season 2!

Enjoy!

Crying

Today I said goodbye to a friend and housemate. She is going to study in South-Africa for 5 months. As I will be going to Japan in October and only return in March, this means I won't see her for a very long time. She was crying. Her mother was crying. Her sister was crying and some of her other friends were crying. I did not cry. In fact, I wasn't even sad. No matter how I tried, I couldn't grasp the fact that she was really leaving. I just couldn't feel it.

I just have that sometimes. I know that something is coming, but I just can't see it until it is real. I almost never cry in situations where other people are crying. When something is not real on the other hand, like a movie or a series when someone (almost) dies, I cry my eyes out.

I know it's not obligatory to cry, but sometimes you just feel as if you lack something. And not just the tears, the entire feeling of sadness is absent. I do feel it at the strangest moments. One casual remark from someone - who is perfectly happy at that moment - and there are tears in my eyes.

I don't understand myself. Am I weird? Maybe I should take notes of the times I do feel things and find out what the determining factor is...

Lots of love,
Marly

ps. Later than I promised, but there is a story on my blog. The theme was Envy.

Someday I'll grow my wings and fly away

How I went to England and fell in love with it.

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Pictures of London, Cambridge, Grantchester and Brighton. I'm not a professional photographer, and that's not my aim. I just wanted to make some pictures of the beautiful things I saw. Can't wait to go back there.

Lots of love, Suze